But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Screwed.edu
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
