There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
