Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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