isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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