No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
