u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
