May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
