I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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