Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
