yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
