my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
