Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
