You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
