I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
