I could make wine with my vomit
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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