Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
