she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
