I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
