Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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