like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize