when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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