Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
