But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
