she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
