Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize