Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
