i may or may not be watching the land before time
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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