Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
