OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
