My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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