That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
