I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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