just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
worst night to have a conscience
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
