Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
