Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
