im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm jealous of your bromance
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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