you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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