I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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