Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
