I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
