You made me cry and you don't even care
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
