the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
