and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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