id be glad to
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
