well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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