I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
