I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
