Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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