I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
