I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize