sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
