i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Never let your siblings swipe right.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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