Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize