i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
