We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
