Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
