Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize