I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
