so let's talk penis.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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