i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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