She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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