It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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