operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
