Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize