its not stalking. its research.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize