You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
