I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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