Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
