Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
