well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
