I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dicks are not precious.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize