Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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