hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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