The maid of honor just puked.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
