plz talk dirty to me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
