My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
