sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
