oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
