im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dear god my vagina.
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