Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
