put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
